Sean MacGuire vs The Demoman
Sean MacGuire vs The Demoman is a Death Battle by The Irish VS Writer Description SEASON 1 EPISODE 6! RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2 VS TEAM FORTRESS 2! It's a battle of Ireland vs Scotland as Gamings greatest Gaelic Warriors battle to the Death! An bhfaigheann Sean giotán fuilteach nó an gcomhlíonfaidh The Demoman an chinniúint chéanna lena chuid comhghleacaithe gorm ón am atá thart? tá sé in am a fháil amach cé a bhuafaidh Cath Báis! (I'll let you guys to translate from Gaelige to English) Intro (Death Battle-Wiz and Boomstick) Wiz: The Year was 500BC and The Germanic People named The Celts were forced out of their home by The Roman Empire and soon they spread their culture around the newly populated countries. Boomstick: No places in the world a known more for their Celtic Culture than Scotland and Ireland! These places are known for 2 things. Their Rebellious Attitude towards their invaders The British Empire and the fact that they both have stereotypes of being Violent Alcoholic's Wiz: So Today, We will have to of these countries Video Game representatives with personalities that match Boomstick's statement earlier, fight to the Death! Boomstick: Tavish De Groot, The Demoman of Team Fortress 2! Wiz: And Sean MacGuire, The Thieving Member of The Van Der Linde gang from Red Dead Redemption 2! Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win...A Death Battle! '' Sean (See the Fire in Your Eyes) ''Wiz: By 1899, The age of Outlaws and Gunslingers was at an end, America was becoming a land of laws, Even the west had mostly been tamed. A few Gangs still roamed but they were being hunted down and destroy... Boomstick: Yeah Yeah we all watched Arthur Morgan vs McCree we get it! During the events of the game, the age of the cowboy was practically over as many of the greatest gangs were arrested, blah blah blah, The only powerful group left was The Van Der Linde Gang and The O'Driscoll's we get it! Wiz: Well...Fuck you Boomstick, Actin' the maggot, like that! Anyway, Yes The Van Der Linde had many members who could fight up close pretty well but, Those members who sneak up on ya are just as deadly, The Main example of this is the Irishman with Rebel Stock...Sean MacGuire! Boomstick: Yes! Conor McGregor's assumed great, great grandfather was born in Ireland where he stayed until the Famine struck our nation, And left on a coffin ship with his father. Wiz: While we don't know what caused this to happen but when they arrived in America, Sean's Father was killed by an Englishman leaving Sean alone to fend for himself in the New World...Hey, Boomstick doesn't that remind you of anybody in this room? Boomstick: Fuck off Wiz or I will knock you on your Arse. Wiz: Come on and try, I would love to see that attempt! Anyway, Sean was alone until he suddenly met Dutch Van Der Linde leader of said gang...and he tried to kill him! Boomstick: While obviously, it didn't work since Yanow? he's standing right there! But Dutch was impressed by Sean's balls and decided to allow him to join the gang, where Karen then was impressed by ''his ''balls AM I RIGHT BOYS? Wiz: Yeah Okay that was good...Shall we talk about Sean's weaponry? (The First Shall Be Last) Boomstick: Oh Fuck Yeah let's do it! As a cowboy, Sean has his signature pistol, The Cattleman Revolver. Which is a good all-around weapon, It has a high fire rate when fired from the hip, and moderate accuracy, damage and range. The main down-flaw of the weapon is that it takes 3-4 shots to kill a human. Wiz: Unless it lands a headshot then it obviously would kill the opponent in one shot! But when things get serious Sean has his Rolling Back Rifle: Which is designed for hunting large beasts, the Litchfield Rolling Block is a powerful long scoped rifle, designed for long-range combat and to make these bullets stronger, Sean could put explosives in the bullets but we never have seen him doing it himself, We only see Arthur using this weapon. Boomstick: With multiple telescopic sights available in different zoom levels, a sharpshooter can eliminate a target from afar and gain the element of surprise Wiz: But Sean's strongest up-close weapon is his Double Barrel Shotgun: ''This gun is capable of firing off two shots in quick succession, dropping nearly any target instantly and is so powerful that not only can it blow the head's off an opponent but it can also shoot off limbs! '''Boomstick: Holy Shit! I'm gonna change my leg to that!' Wiz: Please don't...Em, If Sean runs out of bullets he can always just take out his Hunting Knife which can be used to obviously stab or cut his opponents to ribbons! Boomstick: Hell this thing has been shown to be able to skin animals, Ew! Anyway, Sean also has his Molotov which he can use to burn his opponents alive or destroy the area around them, Hell he can kill people within seconds and it burnt down The Gray's Field in a couple of seconds. Wiz: But if Sean gets into an up-close fight he has been taught how to fight and can tank the attacks of his opponents as he survived weeks of torture which consisted of having his teeth pulled, his burnt feet and being beaten! Boomstick: But Sean may not have this ability, We are just gonna say that he has The Dead Eye! This slows down time for Sean allowing him to target particular limbs and he can also use it to shoot a poor fella in the face twenty times before they could blink! Wiz: But even with that Sean isn't perfect he's got a terrible shot compared to Arthur and is still human and can die from being shot in the head...Like how he died in the game! Boomstick: But still I wouldn't fuck with this Irishman! Sean MacGuire: Like I told you I was born burning down manor houses! Demoman (Drunken Pipe Bomb) Wiz: Hailing from Ullapool, Scotland to a poor family, Tavish De Groot from his early years was obsessed with explosions! Boomstick: What's wrong with that? Me and Micahel Bay love that shit! Wiz: I can't even begin to explain why that's wrong! Anyway, Tavish was always obsessed with explosions, He was so obsessed with explosions that he tried to blow up the feckin' Loch Ness Monster, but sadly this explosion killed his adoptive parents, This was all when he was six years old SIX! Boomstick: What a kid, I wish my son was like this kid, Not a little dumbarse! Wiz: You have a son? Boomstick: Oh Yeah! His name is Broomstick, and he is a complete dickhead, Like son, I don't care that you got a College Degree! Wiz: Father of the year folks, anyway, He was taken to a school for orphans where he learned Rs of Rigging Explosives, Recklessness and really wanting to kill the Loch Ness Monster - If you can guess this is where he learnt all he knows about explosives Boomstick: But things didn't last too long as he learnt by his parents that it was the way of the Demoman to be abandoned! Wiz: So he's like you! Boomstick: IM GONNA KILL YOU! Wiz: Wait, Wait! Let's keep going, Demoman is really one of the most threatening members of the team despite his Drunkenness! (It Hates Me So Much) Boomstick: I swear Wiz after this episode I'm gonna drop you! As a Demoman, Tavish has got quite a lot of explosive weapons on him such as his Grenade Launcher, This thing obviously can shoot grenades at 49 miles per hour and it detonates around 3 seconds after it is fired and when it detonates, Boy it detonates and leaves a lot of damage! Wiz: This thing usually does about 100 Damage in base shots but when you add on the crits he can cause 300 Damage! But if it hits after bouncing then it only does between 60 damage and 180. Boomstick: (Mocking Phil Swift) Holy Shit! That's a lot of Damage Wiz: And despite looking like the grenade launcher can fire six grenades before needing to reload, it actually only can fire four. Boomstick: Demoman also has his most common secondary weapon, The Sticky Bomb Launcher. This thing is where Demoman gets his identity, So basically this thing shoots sticky bombs which he can use to put on doorways, As you can guess if someone walks on the doorway then BOOM it's spaghetti time! Wiz: This Sticky Bomb Launcher fired at around speeds of around 34 miles per hour and he can lay up to eight stickies before needing to reload, and as Boomstick mentioned they cause a lot of damage to any unlucky sap who walks on them, Base explosions cause 103 Damage and Crit's cause 138 Damage! Boomstick: With these explosives, Tavish can do one of the most badass things I have ever seen, He uses it to jump even higher to the point where he looks like he is flying. This Mother Fucker has balls! Wiz: Especially since it nearly takes half of his health! Boomstick: Crazy Mother Fucker! Anyway, Like every class in the game Demo has his own melee weapon, While it may just look like a bottle of alcohol, Well it is but he uses it like Grand Pappy Boomstick would beat people over the head with it so hard that it can cause 65 Damage, While it is strong and all it's not as strong as when Grand Pappy Boomstick would hit me when I was a child! Wiz: But even with all his strength and explosive weaponry, Demo isn't perfect. For one he's a severe Alcoholic to the point where he could drink Beth Smith under the table but when you add on the fact that he has only one eye makes it very easy to sneak up on him and potentially flanking him. Boomstick: But those mother fuckers better be prepared for a fight full of explosions and raining body parts! Demoman: So! T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure. Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say! I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the ol' brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end! Intermission Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, We've run the data through all possibilities! Boomstick: It's time...FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!! Battle Location: Sean's Shack (Red Dead Redemption 2) (More Gun v1) The sound of crushing leaves came from Sean's feet as he walked from the woods to his large wooden cabin, as he held onto a dead rabbit over his shoulder. Whistling along, Sean came closer and closer to his cabin before he opened his door and saw The Demoman sitting on one of his chairs, snoring in a drunken slumber. Sean growled as he pulled out his pistol and slammed it against Tavish's head making him shout in agony as he looked up at his attacker. "YARRGH!" Demo shouted drunkenly as he tried to get up only to fall onto his arse. "Now Bud explain this to me before I blow your fookin' head off, Why are you in my house?" Sean growled. Tavish slurred his words as he pointed his finger at the Irishman before he finally fell back to sleep, Sean looked to the side of where Demo sat only to see the box of beer's he just acquired...were empty. Sean's face somehow contorted in anger even more than before as he then slapped Demo in the face waking him up once again. Demo shouted in defiance as he suddenly jumped out of the chair and with the bottle in his hand, Smacked Sean into a table, breaking it under his weight. (Battle for Camelot) Sean pushed himself off the broken wreck that once was his table, and he was pissed! Sean growled in anger as he grabbed his Shotgun from his satchel and he loaded the weapon, "Yanno What? I was gonna be Merciful cause of you bein' drunk and all that, But that THAT is the reason why I'm gonna blow you're fookin' head off!" Sean shouted as he aimed his gun towards Demoman's way. Tavish seemingly understood the gratitude of this situation as he equipped his Grenade Launcher and began firing around the house, leaving tiny blue pills in each corner of the home. Sean looked around only to see Demo running away and followed suit, Tackling Demo on the way. KA-BOOM! The Resulting explosion sent the two men flying onto the floor as they shouted in fear! FIGHT! Sean and Demo rolled across the floor before finally stopping, when they were a couple of meters away from each other. Sean pushed himself up only to be sent crashing to the floor by a smack to the face by screaming, The Black Scottish Cyclops. Sean growled as he pushed himself up and saw Demo charging towards him at top speed, Sean wasn't going to be hit this time by Demo and with all his might he flung an uppercut towards his chin sending Demo onto the floor. Grunting in pain, Tavish landed on his head but unlike any other man, he pushed himself up and attempted to slap Sean's cocky smile off his face. That plan didn't go too well as he was sent back to the position he was in a couple of seconds ago. "Not good at fightin' are ya?" Sean shouted as he kept his guard up, Demo smiled as he equipped his Sticky Bomb and fired three on Sean's leg. Before The Gangster could question what was happening, he was sent flying into a tree by a massive explosion. Sean slid down the tree before he was down on his side within a couple of seconds. Sean stood back up, Shotgun in hand, and began firing at The Scotsman. The Demoman dodged the first two shots but the last one was too fast for him as he was suddenly sent rolling across the floor with three bullet holes in his chest as he shouted in agony. (Boat Ride) Rising to his feet, Demoman shouted and began firing shots frantically at The Irishman. Except all these shots just whizzed past his head as he stood still. Confused about what's happening. Demoman charged forward and attempted to send Sean flying to the floor with a Bottle once again as the explosives went off many feet away from its target. Sean easily sidestepped the attack and sent the drunken man to the floor with a trip. Demoman pushed himself up as he suddenly fired a Sticky Bomb Launcher to the floor and suddenly sent the two of them flying in completely different directions, as he detonated the device. Sean crashed through the rubble where his shack once stood while Demoman had a lot worse of a time. Tavish crashed through hundreds of tree trunks as he shouted in agony, This montage of him smashing into trees like Ash Williams before he suddenly stopped when he smashed back-first into the trunk of a tree making him fall on his fours. Tavish looked upwards only to see Sean charging towards him with a Molotov Cocktail in hand. "BLOODEH HELL!" Demoman shouted in fear as he suddenly stood up and began running away, avoiding each of these flame bottles while Sean followed after him. Demoman continued running as he kept looking behind him, checking if Sean was running out of those Fire Bottles, Which eventually happened as he mumbled "shite" under his breath. Demoman smiled, taking advantage of Sean's inconvenience by firing a shot into MacGuire's chest. Sean shouted in pain as he was suddenly sent crashing across the floor by the explosion. Sean mumbled in pain before he stood back up with a Hunting Knife in hand, Demoman smirked as he switched to his Melee Weapon and flung himself forward like he was a Jaguar. Sean wasn't even fazed as he dodged the attack and took a stab (literally) at Tavish's stomaching, making him groan and stumbled backwards in pain. Sean continued his assault by slashing into Demoman's torso as blood sprayed into his wounds. Demoman pushed himself away by punching Sean in the face and sent him into the floor with a smack. Sean whipped his mouth from blood as he looked up and saw Demoman firing a couple of Sticky Bombs around them, creating a ring around them. Sean smirked as he stood back up and punched Demoman in the face before sending him crashing to the floor with a kick to the floor. Demoman opened his eyes before avoiding an attack. Demoman and Sean stood back up, Both breathing heavily due to their pain and exhaustion. (The Art of War 0:26) But despite this, The two men kept attacking each other. With punches, kicks, stabs and smashes to the face the two men's once normal looking faces were transformed into faces filled with bruises and wounds. Demoman took a swing towards Sean who blocked the attack with ease. Sean sliced the bottle with his Knife as he charged forward and slashed Demoman in the side spraying blood like a fountain. Sean dashed behind Demoman and stabbed him in the back making him shout in pain. MacGuire though wasn't done as he began firing at Tavish's back causing many many bloody holes to appear on it. Demoman though wasn't stopping as he weakly slammed into Sean making him stumble backwards in pain before he was hit with a flurry of bashes to the face and shouted in pain. MacGuire swerved away from these strikes allowing Demoman to weakly stumbled forward as the blood loss and his drunkenness were catching up to him in this fight. Sean wanted to finish this battle so he aimed his pistol to Demoman's head next. "OH BLOODEH HELL!" Sean responded to Demoman's scream in defiance with a bullet to the skull, Tavish stumbled backwards as blood began spraying out of his head wound. Demoman's dead body finally toppled over onto the previously placed Sticky Bombs just underneath him. (Stop Music) MacGuire watched as Demoman's corpse was suddenly blown to bloody bits to add insult to injury. "That's What you get for takin' me drinks and destroyin' me home!" Sean growled in anger as he spat onto what was left of Demoman's bloody chunks before walking away, Looking to try and find his gang KO! Results (American Venom) Boomstick: Huh. That was unexpected. Wiz: Surprisingly, Despite all the comments we have been getting, Sean has a very good chance of winning. Sure, In an up-close and personal fight, Demo had the advantage thanks to his better weaponry and greater strength feats. Boomstick: But thanks to Demo's lack of Depth Perception, it made it very easy for Sean to escape and sneak up on Tavish. There is was totally Sean's game as his better stealth and again Demo having one eye and being drunk most of the time made it exceptionally easy for Sean to finish Demo off with either a shot to the head or a stab in the back. Wiz: While yes, Demo can survive a couple of shots from a pistol or the shotgun, but as soon as Sean started following Thanos' advice and aiming for the head that it got bad for Demo since shots in the head kill him usually in the game, and you might be saying..."But Wiz isn't it usually a Sniper Shot to the head that would kill him and not a shot to the head from a pistol?" Well not really since any class in the game can die from a headshot from Spy's regular pistol, So why couldn't Sean's Pistol do the same? Boomstick: And as well, Sean's knife would do the same thanks to again. Demoman usually dies from a backstab from Spy so again, Why wouldn't it work for Sean's knife? Wiz: Also onto the point that Demo's weapons have a great range in combat, While yes they do but so does Sean's. Hell, there is a scope on his Rifle so he could keep Demoman away with shots to scare him off, But as soon as Demoman got too close, Sean could just fire a shot into Demoman's head. Just like the Last Episode! Boomstick: Straight to the Point. But wouldn't a shot from Demo's weapon just blow Sean to bits? Wiz: Yeah he could do that but, These shots are very easy to dodge to the point that even The Soldier can avoid these shots, So It's very likely that Sean would do the same. Boomstick: And those traps, wouldn't be very effective since they are destroyed by regular bullets. So basically Sean could always keep away from Tavish and wait for him to run out of artillery and finish him off with a bullet to the head or a stab in the back or he could sneak up on him and do those same things. Wiz: While you may be thinking that Demoman can't be shot by Sean thanks to his shit aim, While that may be right but Dead-Eye ruins this point as this allows Sean enough time to aim the shot, shoot Demoman in the head before he could even blink! Boomstick: Tavish is really gonna have one bad headache in the mornin' Wiz: The winner is: Sean MacGuire!' ' Category:The Irish VS Writer/ The Sayain Jedi Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2019 Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Death Battles with Music Category:Team Fortress vs Red Dead Redemption themed Death Battles